Once upon a time there was a sweet and adorable, but cantankerous, little old kitty named Isis. Isis considered herself the monarch of the land, even though she was the smallest and daintiest creature in the old house. One day, after successfully chasing her sister Denali from the room, Isis curled up on her favorite blanket and settled down for a nice nap.

She had just laid her head down to rest when a screech, a bellow, a thunderous noise that hurt her pretty-kitty ears sounded throughout the house. Kitchen! her human slave shrieked in that horrid manner that only humans can do. But rather than voice her complaints at having been disturbed, the reigning feline Goddess decided to trot happily into the Room of Food, for when the human made the sound “kitchen” it meant the kitties of the house were going to get fed.

As she entered the kitchen she saw her human standing by the cubboard (which would hopefully never be bare since it contained her food) with an open can of cat food in each hand. The human hurried to place a can of gourmet cat food on the floor in front of Isis’ paws. After a quick affectionate pat to the head, to which Isis ruefully responded with a meow that clearly said Hey, no petting! the human swooped up Isis’ sister Denali and carried her out of the room. Denali would be fed elsewhere to ensure that the gluttonous feline didn’t dare attempt to steal the Goddess’ food.

The oven was on, the kitchen was oh so warm, so Isis settled down to nibble on her meal in peace. That is, until she felt two giant hands seize her around her middle and hoist her up into the air at an alarming rate. The was much cooing and fussing as Isis was cradled in her human’s arms, along with what sounded suspiciously like oh, what a cute little pig you are!. But her human would never dare to say that to the feline Goddess of the house. Would she?

Out of the corner of her eye, Isis spied a glimpse of silver, and quick as a flash she turned her head to the side just as a blinding light illuminated the room. With an indignant huff, Isis howled “No pictures!” and put up a valiant effort to escape her captor’s grasp. But of course, had the kitty managed to escape so easily there would be no tale to tell!

She squirmed, she meowed, she even purred, but through it all her human would not let her go. Isis railed against the arms that bind her, but her prison was secure. As her struggles wore down the mutterings of her human finally reached her ears, and they twitched in horror.

“Look at you, such a messy eater still. Someone needs a bath.”

Isis could suffer the indignity of being held and fussed over like an infant, but upon hearing the dreaded B-word she opened her mouth and let out a dreadful hiss that embodied all of the rage, fatigue, humiliation, and absolute terror she had thus far suffered.

Alas, Isis forgot her human still had a firm hold on her shiny silver instrument of doom. Spying her chance, the human servant snapped off a quick shot and Isis was forever immortalized in one of her less than Kodak-ready moments. The gall of the human!

At long last the human relinquished her hold on her captive and Isis stalked back to her dinner shrouded in an aura that radiated and pulsed with her fury. Feeling guilty, the human servant crouched down on the kitchen floor and began to affectionately scratch her charge’s head.

All seemed well as Isis let out a deep purr that showed her pleasure and leaned into the touch. Until she cracked open an eye to shoot her tormentor a glare. “I shall not forgive you” the look plainly said, and with an audible gulp her human silently vowed to sleep with one eye open that night.